Dear Brayden

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My heart aches and I wonder all the time why God placed these situations in my life. Why does God put us through these trials that make us seem like we can’t handle it? When God knows the prayer of my heart, why does He allow life to go a different way? But when I look back on the past 7 months, I realize that Shawn and I probably wouldn’t have the bond with each other as well as with Brayden had this unfortunate situation not happened.

For those of you who don’t know, Shawn and I had the opportunity to foster Shawn’s 1-year-old nephew for the past 7 months. It was a roller coaster of ups and downs. There were times when I thought to myself “What am I doing?” and other times I’m thinking “Wow! I’m really able to pull this all off”. Many tears were shed; emotions were worked through. We had an amazing support network of family and friends. Friends were there for us when we needed someone to talk to. Family was there to pray for us.

Yesterday, we received a phone call from Brayden’s birth mom about the social worker wanting to move Brayden and his brother (who is in medical fragile foster care) to their maternal grandfather on Wednesday. I knew that this was a possibility in the near future, but it was too soon. My heart broke knowing that Brayden wouldn’t be able to fly up to San Jose and see my parents one last time. My heart broke knowing that when I came home from work, there wouldn’t be a little toddler running up to the door to give me a hug and tell me “hi”. All those nights where he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming for me, would be gone. All the snuggles and tickle fights, would be gone.

I know that ultimately in the end, Brayden should be with his mom, regardless if I think it’s right or wrong. I just keep praying that through all this darkness, there is some light that comes through. That the truth comes out.

Dear Brayden,

 We pray that you continue to thrive and grow and continue to be the sweet and thoughtful little boy that you are.

 Someone who is always sharing the toys wherever we are instead of taking them for him.

Someone who is always caring about other people.

Someone who puts others before himself.

Someone who thrives at whatever he puts his mind to.

Someone who is always empathetic to how others are feeling.

Someone who continues to smile all day long.

Someone who learns to love Jesus because He loves you.

 Brayden, know that your uncle and I love you so very much and we are always here for you, no matter what. And we will ALWAYS fight for you.

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